Double Standard, aahh!

So, I was watching old episodes of Steve Wilkos online the other day and one of the episodes was entitled, "You ruined my life." The topic of the show was a couple, the woman was 13 years older than the man. They started dating when the boy was 15 years old and the woman was 28. Apparently they fell in love and got married and had kids, the whole nine. Well, he went on the Steve Wilkos show to whine and complain about how she ruined his life and stole his innocence and how he was never in love with her, rather he was brainwashed into believing it was a healthy relationship. Fast forward to this morning and I'm watching an episode of Divorce Court where the couple has a similar age difference like the one on Steve Wilkos, only the man is the signicantly older one. His wife, or soon to be ex I assume, has no problem with this. Not once on this episode did she ever mention that he was older than she was and therefore had control over her. I found this parallel between the two shows to be quite interesting in several ways. First, the obvious age difference. Traditionally, it is seen as taboo for an older man to date a younger woman, especially a woman 10 years or more his junior. These men, if caught, are forced to become registered sex offenders and go to jail and such. However, when a woman dates a younger guy, it seems to be a little odd yet accepted more readily. The woman on Steve Wilkos did not face any jail time nor was she a registered sex offender. The only complaint came from the guy she married. This leads me to one conclusion: women feel as though they have more control in relationships than men. Now, I realize that this isn't always the case. I know there are several cases where women are in abusive relationships with men who beat them and control their lives. However, if neither part of the relationship is psycho and wants to beat up the person they love, then I think that women generally do feel like they have the upper hand. The case on Steve Wilkos blatantly displays this idea when the man declares that she brain washed him and controlled his mind to the point where he believed it was a genuine relationship. Then, with the case on Divorce Court, the woman had absolutely no problem with her husband being much older than she was. She never accused him of brain washing her or trying to force her into believing something that may not have been true. This goes to show that this woman felt like, regardless of age, the amount of control she had over the relationship remained the same. These two cases struck me for these two basic reasons: the difference between an older man dating a younger woman and an older woman dating a younger man and then the difference in attitude toward the relationship of either party. I feel like this is a huge double standard. I feel like men and women should be treated the exact same way if they commit the exact same "crime." I don't think it is more acceptable for an older woman to date a younger man or vice versa. It is the same thing to me. In the same respect, I think women and men should have equal control in their relationships regardless of age. A lot of times, men are accused of being "whipped" by their girlfriends or wives and I just don't think that's fair. Then again, double standards in general drive me crazy so what can ya do? There will likely be more on the topic in future posts.

Steve Wilkos is the MAN!

For my first post about gender on this blog, I would like to attack the beast that is Steve Wilkos. Anyone who is at all familiar with The Steve Wilkos Show will understand exactly why I have chosen his show about which to write. Steve Wilkos is, in my opinion, a manly man. He is a great provider, loves his wife and kids, and will verbally beat down any man who does not do just the same. Steve is a former police officer and marine and, even just based on that, he is real man. Steve Wilkos has very high morals and holds everyone on his show to those same morals. The way Steve treats women, specifically, draws me to his show. Countless women come on Steve's show and talk about their boyfriends or husbands or baby's daddies and say how they beat them while they were pregnant or choked them or, in one case, ripped their tongue out! Steve's reaction to these men? "IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE?!?!?!" Oh yeah. Total screaming manly awesomeness. Steve Wilkos has no hesitation about voicing how he feels about dirt bag men that abuse women and, to me, Steve's ideas about men and women are the ones everyone should have. In one show, Steve even says that his wife could throw boiling water in his face and he'd simply walk away; he'd never hurt her back. I think The Steve Wilkos Show is the perfect place where strong manly men (or man, in this case) intersect with weak willed women. 90% of the female guests that Steve has on his show are in abusive relationships that they are too weak to leave. For me, that is the opposite of how a woman should live her life. I feel that women need to be strong, independent people that are capable of living their own successful lives without the help of any man. However, should they choose to spend their life with a man, he should be one like Steve who is caring, nurturing, masculine, and will provide well. I don't think that the clash between strong men and weak women is in any way a premise of this talk show, but I do feel that, despite that, it is a prime example of various ideas about men and women and their self respect, or lack thereof, in today's world. Ironically, I find myself siding with Steve than with the women on his show because, really, those women are just weak and annoying.